Been There, Done That

I was having dinner at a friend’s home when a sparkly pink cell phone began shimmying its way across the kitchen table.  Her 14 year old daughter ran over and picked it up.  The conversation went as you would have expected, first about one boy, then another, then about the jealousy of some girls, but just before she hung up, she mentioned that she was “getting a Louis Vuitton bag and wallet for Christmas.” 

When she got off the phone, I first asked her why she wanted, or needed a Louis Vuitton.  Her response was, “why can’t I have one??? YOU have one!!!”  After I took a deep breath and regrouped, I asked her how much she thought a Louis Vuitton bag and wallet cost.  She replied, “The bag is $900 and the wallet is about $600.”  Her nonchalance almost made me cough up my pork chop, but I managed to ask, “Do you have $900 and $600 to put IN them?”  She laughed heartily in response.  Silly me.  

At that point, her mother came to the table and said, “all the little girls have them.”  And it was then that I realized that it was not all about little Sally trying to keep up with little Susie, but as sad as it is, it was also about their parents trying to keep up with and outdo each other.

Children today are a different breed.  At 12 they’re wearing makeup, high heels, and carrying $300 cell phones.  At 13 they’re getting their hair and nails done and have their own laptops.  At 14 they have significant others and are in “relationships.”  By 15, they’re wearing $300 jeans, $200 sneakers, and carrying $900 purses.  And by 16 they are driving $50,000 cars, traveling out of the country unsupervised, and getting plastic surgery.

It’s obvious to say that it is the fault of the parents, but I just don’t get it.  I’ve spoken to some of my upwardly mobile friends and heard them say things like, “she’s a great student,”  “she’s a good kid,”  “she deserves it”; or “but this is what all of the kids have.”  Well, I grew up in a two-parent household and my step-father and mother never believed in the philosophy of keeping up with the Joneses.  They operated under the  philosophies of  ”so the hell what,” and  “you were supposed to.”  I did well in school? So the hell what, I was supposed to.  I cleaned my room and washed the dishes?  So the hell what, I was supposed to.  I was respectful, and stayed out of trouble at school?  So the hell what, I was supposed to.  Don’t get me wrong, my accomplishments were acknowledged and celebrated.  But my mother celebrated to the tune of a  congratulatory greeting card and a meal at a nice restaurant, not a boob job and a handbag that costs as much as a mortgage. 

The parents of today want it both ways.  They want to give their children everything they never had at that age, but yet they expect the kids to act like they did at that age by respecting their property, understanding its value, and being grateful.  The irony of it is, that the very reason our generation respected what we had and understood the value of dollar was because, we weren’t handed everything on a silver platter.  Most of us worked for our extras, and bought them with our own money.  And besides, luxuries for us were quite modest.  A video game here.  A tape/CD there.  Pager service.  A new beeper.  Nothing too ridiculous.  It’s tragic that these parents are raising monstrously self-indulgent children with entitlement issues, but it’s even sadder still that they’re dooming them to be perennially unfulfilled because they won’t have a thing to look forward to. 

So if you’re a parent and you’re feeling bad because your kid works part-time, goes to school, pays his/her own cell phone bill and juggles multiple responsibilities? I applaud you and say, “So the hell what.  They’re supposed to.”