It’s the Thought that Counts… Kinda

It’s that time of year again.  Those who are dating are under pressure to pick the perfect gifts for their significant others.  They know that no other gift will be as analyzed and scrutinized as the one that comes from the love interest.  Where did he get it?  What does it mean?  How much did he spend? 

Everyone is feeling the stress.  Couples that have been down this road before either feel pressed to outdo the last gift, or compelled to redeem themselves for it; but it’s the new couple exchanging gifts for the first time that is under the most pressure of all.  Not only do they want to make a good impression with their selections, but they also have the added burden of making sure their gifts are “equally yoked,” so to speak.  There is nothing worse than the letdown one feels after coming up with the perfect gift idea, spending hours scouring the malls, braving the traffic and crowds to find it, proudly handing it to him, squealing with excitement as he unwraps it… all for him to hand you… a Dustbuster… “because you’re clumsy and you spill stuff.”  Or, just as bad, what if you’re sitting there, ready to hand him his underwear and socks, and he hands you… a Tiffany box? 

Well don’t panic, there are some simple tricks to resolve all the madness that comes along with selecting the perfect gift and to make sure that you don’t under or overdo it.   

First, remember that if this is your first gift exchange, it really shouldn’t be too extravagant - but it should be heavy on the thoughtfulness.

Second, don’t get anything that you are not interested in yourself; and if you do, make sure it is transferable and/or refundable.  Not cool to make reservations and buy tickets to go see his favorite team play a home game, and you get… a wallet with a built-in calculator.

Third, get a gift that can be given in two or more parts.  This is a great way to give something modest, get your gift, and decide whether to leave it at that, or say, “But wait, there’s more!”  He loves wine? Get him a great red that you’ve heard about, with a stopper or a corkscrew, and some pretty glasses.  If he hands you that gorgeous bracelet you were eyeing in the jewelry store window, that’s the time to tell him that you also set up a tour through wine country; if he gets you jumper cables  or a shovel?  You can easily take a girlfriend. 

Fourth, stay away from gift cards, or donations to charities, or anything that shows exactly what you’re spending.  a) it’s not very imaginative and b) if you spend way more, or way less than he did, there could be hard feelings.

The bottom line is that with any gift exchange it’s really all about listening, as opposed to spending.  If he’s told you he really wants to get back into writing, maybe you can get him a nice leatherbound journal with a beautiful, engraved pen.  He’s expressed an interest in photography? Then maybe you can get him a handsome portfolio to store his shots.  It doesn’t matter if this is gift #1 or 101, if you put some thought into it, you really can’t go wrong.